Coping Strategies

Coping Strategies

Coping strategies are not only for those that look different. On the contrary: we all have them. We all built strategies, aware or unaware, to justify our identity and our positioning with our body in the world. A conversation on this lasf week gave me enormous insight into how I cope with my physicality. Like for instance, I hate to be late for things. Not for the sole fact that I believe in living up to what you promised another person.
I try to be the first at an appointment, so that I can choose where to sit and to make sure the other party has to find me instead of I finding them. Why? Because I won’t find you.
I don’t see a whole lot when I enter an unfamiliar space, due to my eyes. I just wont see you. When I walk towards you on the street, chances are you have already seen me for minutes before I will see you. I feel uncomfortable entering a full cafe or restaurant looking around to see where my friends sit. When I enter the cafe, I very much dislike not seeing where my friends are, them having to wave at me, me not seeing them despite the waving, and then walking around while the whole bar is already looking at me since well, my face. I feel uncomfortable with it, even though it is something I have to do every week. My close friends know that I won’t see them, and know that that is just the way it is. They sometimes call me if I am near already, to say “walk straight and then on the left side…”, I love when they do this. It helps, and shows understanding.
With less close friends or people around, they almost always say “You didn’t see us, but we sat right in front of you!!”. Most of the time, I just tell them I’m a weirdo and don’t see a whole lot. That’s ok. It’s fine and I really understand where they come from. I can deal with it but I’d rather go into avoiding the situation all togeher if possible, and come earlier. Avoidance is not always an option though but isn’t always bad either, as long as you’re not dependent on the avoidance. It’s a strategy, to cope. .