Pain

Pain

Pain is an interesting thing. Whether it is physical or non-physical pain. Some say pain is our biggest teacher, because through those moments we learn the most about ourselves, our actions and reactions to it. The last week I had a bit of a physical setback. I feel fine, but my back hurts when I practice yoga in the morning. The pain triggered a lot of resistance, doubt and sadness towards the practice and my body. It comes to everyone at some point. It triggers a lot more though, and I sometimes become a bit hypogondrous with it and start to doubt a whole lot of other things. Like my eyes, I start to think “Do I still see clearly?” and then I doubt that, and think I should obviously go to the hospital to check my glaucoma if the pressure is good. When I was young, there were times I was in the hospital every single day for my eyes or my port wine stain. Over the years it went from daily slowly to weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, and now since a couple of years my eyes have been so stable that twice a year is fine. But from going so often to the hospital, and now not, makes me panic sometimes. It requires much more self-inquiry to seperate false visions from right ones. Seperating doubt and insecurity from actual setbacks and, whenever something intensely physical comes up, work gently with it to figure out what it is you should clearly see.